“To live while I’m alive.”—Al Silverman
Al Silverman often serenades Nina Raskin, Midwest CareCenter bereavement counselor, when she visits him. Al’s favorites are the songs of his youth by notable crooners like Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby and Tony Bennett. His stage is the camel-colored recliner in his Buffalo Grove condo. His voice is strong and lively and his audience—Nina or his children or grandchildren—wonder how he can sound that good at 99 years old.
A long, long time to go
Al approaches his age with both a sense of humor and an eagerness to share the marvelous stories of his life. He keeps a Star Wars-themed birthday card next to his chair as a tongue-in-cheek reminder of his lifespan: “A long, long time ago … You were born!” Born in Russia in 1910, Al talks about his family’s move to Chicago when he was a toddler and life on the Old East Side—Maxwell and Taylor Streets/Roosevelt Road, the Italian and Jewish neighborhoods—where he “grew up tough.” He watched fire trucks pulled by horses make their way down the street. He remembers going to the sweet sixteen birthday party of Ida, his beloved wife of 72 years.
Missing Ida
Nina has visited Al since Ida died in 2008 due to heart problems and complications from a fall. Al spent time with Ida regularly in the hospital, then in the nursing home, then back in the hospital, where she received hospice care from the Midwest CareCenter Jewish Care Services program in the last two days of her life.
Al’s conversations with Nina focus on his memories of Ida, how much he misses her and how he is coping day to day. “Nina and I are like old friends now,” he said. “I look forward to her coming. I tell her things. I sing to her. I even teach her Yiddish.” Together, they go through old photos that Al keeps by his recliner. They discuss Al’s difficult time in the evening when he feels lonelier. They talk about his wonderful family—his children, Stuart and Barbara, and five grandchildren—who visit and call regularly.
Active and grateful
“Al is beloved by his children and his grandchildren,” reflected Nina. In terms of managing his grief, she said, “He’s also a phenomenal coper.” For example, despite his 99 years and the fact that his vision is impaired, Al fills his time with activities. His daily schedule includes several trips up and down his long hallway, a music hour and a story hour, when he listens to a book on tape. Barbara visits in the afternoon and then he has dinner, watches television and is in bed by 11 p.m.
Throughout his routine, he takes comfort in memories of Ida. Al noted: “I only had one girl my whole life, and we had such good times. She was the nicest person someone could ever meet, as sweet as can be. I really fell for her; she was the love of my life. I am a lucky man. Every day I lift up her picture and hold it to my heart.”
